Attention: Select-GMs

Order, Order!

[This post is directed specifically to select-GMs of the Redemption; however, the Fucking Randy has made it available to the public just in case there are readers out there who wish to give in their two cents]

Dear select-GMs,

Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedules to read this memorandum. For your loyalty, I will speak with He Who Is Almighty & Powerful to have him enhance each of your phalli.

Please read this post carefully (more carefully than you would normally read my Reports) as they are in relation to the current state of the Redemption, as well as future considerations. Feel free to comment and leave your opinions; feedback is greatly appreciated. Please be tasteful, and be gentlemen. Specifically, please leave all rivalries on hold (I'm looking at you, Sitch and Burgs).

Without further delay, here are the important notices at hand which require your attention:

1. TRADE DEADLINE

The trade deadline for the Redemption is MARCH 21, 2013. This is the latest date available per Redemption settings; therefore, there will be no negotiating on this. This leaves you with nine days to make your trades.

2. KEEPERS

The concept of Keepers has surfaced. A Keeper is a player you wish to keep for next year, thus ensuring that you have that player going forward and will not lose him during the draft. I have thought this through, and I suggest that a maximum of two keepers be kept by each select-GM. There are no restrictions; your Keepers may be goalies, centres, Crosbones, whatever. If you feel that two is too many, too few, or sufficient, please provide feedback.

"Crosbones... Jeah!" said Burgundy.

3. TREE BONE INVITATION

As some of you may be aware, there has been speculation of expanding the League for the 2013-2014 NHL season. Potential-select-GM Tree Bone has been training herself in the depths of a junior league, hosted by CBC, and has expressed interest in joining. Should we wish to send her an invitation for next year, we must discuss and agree on expansion.

I know for a fact that Dick Burns has no idea of who Tree Bone is; not to worry, Dick, as you will figure it out soon enough.

4. DRAFT 2013

Building on points 2 and 3, the 2013 Draft will need to be revised. Assuming that each existing select-GM selects two Keepers, new entrant Tree Bone will enter the draft without two keepers. Collectively, the select-GMs need to discuss this issue. The Fucking Randy has a few ideas, but input from select-GMs is appreciated.

One proposal is to allow Tree Bone to select two Keepers of her own once each select-GM has informed the Fucking Randy which two Keepers they plan on holding. However, this may be seen as a disadvantage to Tree Bone as this will mean that 8 elite players (2 Keepers x 4 select-GMs) will be off the table before she even gets to pick. To manage this, the League could offer her the first pick overall in the 2013 draft. Therefore, the mechanics would look as follows:

• Burgs, Team DB, Sitch and Safari submit Keeper players.
• Afterwards, Tree Bone is shown list of remaining available players.
• Tree Bone selects two Keepers out of remaining available players.
• Draft 2013 starts, with Tree Bone receiving first overall pick.

Another option would be to allow only one free Keeper for each select-GM, making the pool of available players for Tree Bone more favorable. Feel free to share your thoughts as this is still in the preliminary stages and will likely be revised many, many times.

5. TEAM SIZE

Finally, some of you have asked whether team sizes will be the same for next year. Given that there is the potential to expand so that the League will have five select-GMs, drafting will be more difficult as there will be more competition. However, if enough select-GMs wish to have more players, I am not one to cock-block. As Commissioner, it is my job to ensure that the League is run fairly and to the best interest of all select-GMs; therefore, if you wish to have more players on your roster going forward, please do not hesitate to speak up.

Some select-GMs have voiced that they would like to have more centres as the NHL does have an abundance of centres. This is a viable option, among others.

That's it for now. If there are other items requiring your attention, you will be advised. On that note, buckle up for the second-half push. The season will be done before you know it. Ain't that right, William?

Mock Trial With J Reinhold!

...? Whatever.

Cordially yours,

the Fucking Commissioner Randy