Carbo-Loading

Last night, one of the most dynamic players drafted by the Redemption was injured on a nothing play; he will most likely miss the remainder of the regular season, possibly the playoffs (if his team can make it).

That player was Erik Karlsson.

"FUUUUUUUUUCCKKKKKK!" screamed AznSitch at a press conference held early this morning after he was told by team doctors of the news.

"Finished. Gone. He's done for the season. Rice for everyone," sobbed Sitch as he regained his composure behind the microphone. "I'm out of here; I'll see you guys at Sushi-Coma if you want to join me."

"He's done for the season. Rice for everyone." - AznSitch, 02/14/2013

I'll pass on the sushi, Sitch. But, I do feel your pain. Drafted 11th overall in the Redemption draft, Karlsson was the highest defenseman drafted, and was Sitch's third overall pick. The injury is detrimental to Sitch's line-up, who had been relying on Karlsson for points in all areas.

"I could not give a shit," laughed a pompous Burgundy as he puffed on a mahogany-made pipe. "It was Sitch's fault for drafting said player. Sure, Karlsson's good, but did he not realize that he was playing too many minutes, becoming susceptible to injury? It was only a matter of time."

Harsh words indeed, but the weak are not cared for in the Redemption, and Team Sitch will have to mosey on without the League's premier offensive defenseman. What has Sitch got in the works?

"At this point, I have no idea," said Sitch. "I'm still confident in my D; Byfuglien is arguably the next best offensive defenseman out there, and Subban is a loose cannon who may be my savior. Nonetheless, I'm looking for options; I would explore a trade."

A trade?! Could this be the start of a ridiculous chain of events leading to a blockbuster transaction? Only time will tell. Regardless, it is shit luck for shit Sitch, and I presume he's more frustrated, both sexually and hockey-related, than usual this Valentine's Day.

"Hey Fucking Randy, didn't you preDICKt that Karlsson would not lead all defenseman in scoring this year?" asked Dick Burns.

Yes, I did. However, I did not say it was due to injury.

"I'll give it to you," said Dick Burns.

Wise words, Dick.