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| Is Neal on the way out of Team Sitch? |
[Transcript from AznSitch's media address earlier this morning]
"Good morning, staff and media. I'm here to address -- "
Is it true you've been shopping James Neal?
-- Who dares interrupt me?
This is Perry Fire Media reporting, Sitch. So is it true?
First of all, I'd appreciate if the media would allow me to make an opening statement before barraging me with questions. Second of all, I fucking hate you, Perry Fire Media.
Is Neal being shopped or not?
No. (AznSitch rubs his neck, cracks his back for relief.) The trade rumors are untrue. I am not shopping Neal, nor will I be inclined to shop him unless a significant return is offered.
Sources have indicated that Burgundy had offered you Markov and Pominville.
I can neither confirm or deny that. I am not permitted to address phantom transactions; I can only address completed transactions.
You're boring.
(Sitch steps away from the podium, takes off his shirt and runs at Perry Fire Media. Other staff on hand stop, with difficulty, Sitch from assaulting the staff member from Perry Fire Media.)
You're crazy, bitch!
Don't call me bitch, unless you're referring to my workout regiment Bitch-It's-Sitch! (Sitch regains composure, steps back to the podium.) Anyway, Neal is not being shopped. I find it ridiculous to believe that so many rumors have spread so quickly after I mention, nonchalantly, that I am open to trading for a defenseman. This morning my team picked up defenseman Mike Green as a potential solution, so a trade may not even become necessary.
Anyways, I've called this media conference to address my Bitch-It's-Sitch! North American release. I will not be answering any more hockey-related questions. So, who's interested in hearing about Bitch-It's-Sitch?!
(Media staff members quickly file out of the conference room.)
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