WK4 - the Sitch and the Burg

It was quite a week inside the Redemption; injuries, trade rumors, numerous media conferences, etc. Not surprisingly, the stats for this week also tell a compelling story. The most intriguing, perhaps, are the statistics that spawn from the sweaty Sitch and the bodacious Burgs.

"Bodacious?" asked Burgs. "It may be bo-acious. I presume the 'd' may be silent. I'm not sure, but I believe it is so. It may be some sort of fitness fad that is going around."

"You are a fucking retard," replied Sitch. "Hazzz!"

The blood is getting boiled between the two, I presume. Insiders are reporting that Burgs, on top of having a massive Crosbone, is getting quite anal, or aNeal, and has been pursuing James Neal from Sitch. However, nothing has materialized and at this point it looks like the trade is dead.

Before we get into the details, the Redemption Stats Machine has jizzed out the charts for your erectile pleasure:

Burgundy is, again, holding top spot (3 consecutive weeks). Sitch has moved out of the basement, trading places with Dick Burns. African Lion Safari is holding steady at no. 2. But other than the current positions, what are the numbers really showing?

When we get into the points-per-games-played (PPGP) statistic, the stats are quite revealing. Burgs and Sitch, two positions apart, are in a head-to-head race; Burg's is averaging 3.48 PPGP while sitch averages 3.47 PPGP. Assuming both teams have played the same number of games, they'd be sitting 1-2 in the rankings. What is even more interesting is that Sitch dominates the goals category (50), while Burgs has a stranglehold on assists (93).

"This is dumb,' said Burgs. "Who will ultimately win the Redemption? A select-GM who has the best PPGP, or the select-GM who accumulates the most points? You and I both know the answer. I think we know who is going to win this fucking Redemption."

Sitch did not provide a rebuttal, but instead squatted 400lbs.

Aside, here are some other notable statistics:

• Sitch added 41% to is total point accumulations this week, tops in the Redemption. Honorable mention goes to Burgundy, who added a respectable 26%.
• Tavares (Sitch) was a top point producer this week (5G, 2A); too bad Sitch benched him for the entire duration.
• Weber (Dick Burns) was his team's top player performer this week with 10.10 points; suffice to say, Dick Burns' team has hit a cold spell.
• Kovalchuk (Burgundy) continues to defy my preDICKtions, collecting 2G and 4A this week.
• Rinne (Safari) continues to dummy the goaltending category; he added another two wins and two shutouts this week.

Just another 2 SHO. No big deal.

"I am not pleased," said Dick Burns. "But remember this; it is always darkest just before the dawn."

Wise words, Dick.