.. and the Dick Punches Continue

"You actually did a combine? Don't NHL scouting combines usually prove to be useless?..." - Dick Burns, January 18, 2013

The punches just continue for Sir Dick Burns.

Yes, the Fucking Randy predicted Dick Burns would finish last. And yes, he's defied gravity and shot to the top of the rankings again.

Though last night's goaltending efforts were less than admirable (Team DB racked up -5.25pts, courtesy of Marc-Andre Fleury and the Penguins losing 5-2 to... did I read that right?... The Leafs?!), Dick Burns power-punched his way back to the top of the Redemption rankings thanks to a hat-trick scored by Marian Gaborik, one of which was a GWG. That earned Team DB 13.80pts from Gaborik alone.

A caption really isn't necessary...

"Not a big deal," said Burgundy. "I, on the other hand, am kind of a big deal."

Ok, Burgs. Ok.

"Well, I am. And did you see that my Crosby earned a goal and an assist last night? He got 8.20pts from that," continued Burgundy.

The Fucking Randy did notice the multi-point accumulation by Crosby, but was distracted. You see, as a multiple Pulitzer Prize winner, the Fucking Randy has plentiful resources, which include a number of eyes and ears, constantly scouting NHL madness, as well as Redemption gossip. And I'm happy to inform dear readers that AznSitch is still at Redemption General; he suffered a significant setback to his carbo-recovery plan after learning of Crosby's multi-point night.

"...More... Stamkos..." coughed Sitch, as he tried to curl his biceps while being attended by a nurse, even though he had an IV stuck in his arm.

More Stamkos? More like comatose, as Sitch passed out soon after from exhaustion. He still sits 4th in the Rankings, but with fewest games played.

"Don't mess with Dick Burns," said Dick Burns.

Wise words, Dick.