Tuesday, April 2, 2013

BREAKING: Media Q&A with Safari

[Transcript from Safari's media address earlier this afternoon regarding the trade for Malkin]

"Boom!" roars Safari.

(Select-GM Safari enters media room, approaches microphone)

I'm happy to announce that Team Safari has acquired Malkin from Team DB just a few minutes ago. I'm very excited about this deal, and going forward, I think my team, and Dick Burns' team, benefit.

What were the exact details of the trade?

Team Safari acquired Malkin and a 7th round draft pick. Team DB acquired a 1st round draft pick.

Who initiated the trade?

I did. I wanted to get Malkin, plain and simple. With Sitch showing no signs of slowing down and Burgundy hurting from the loss of Crosby, I wanted to ensure that Malkin would be mine. I couldn't take the chance that Burgundy would approach Dick for Malkin. I want the title.

Will you be keeping Malkin as a Keeper then?

He's arguably the best player in the world. What do you think?

What about the draft going forward? Do you think you paid too much?

I highly doubt it. There is no way I would have been able to pick up a player of Malkin's calibre in round one of next year's draft. The way I see it, there are only 3 elites: Malkin, Crosby, and Stamkos. I now have one of them. Enough said.

Will you be making any more moves?

Anything's possible. I mean, I heard about the Chara trade about a half hour after the Malkin trade was done. I was surprised somewhat, but given the situations that each team was in, it makes sense in my head. A good orchestrated trade overall from both Sitch and Dick. I'll bulk up my team if needed, but I won't be doing anything stupid.

Are there any more questions?


... Fuck yes.

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